Vocabulary

I have devoted a very minute portion of my time here to learning the local language. I tried hard at first, but it was frustrating. The language is so different and I speak in a native toungue that utilizes such different sounds that I had trouble communicating. I found that most people understood my English better than my sorry attempt at their language. When I add my charades to English, forget about it - I'm fluent.

And so, I learned the alphabet and stopped there. I can sound out some words when I need to - which comes in handy because a lot of Korean words are just English written in Korean characters. But in the course of my time here I have inadvertently picked up a bunch of words that come in handy in the classroom, on the street and around town.

The biggest one is "Asah!" This is basically the equivalent of the English "awesome," "sweet," "alright" and "that is what I want" all rolled into one. This is a catch-all word that I throw around all the time. A kid hands in homework and it is perfect, I give an "Asah!" and they smile. A waiter brings me a dish of steaming dulsot bibimbap and I give a famished "Asah!" before I dig in. I'm in a cab and we are stuck at a light and a 70-year-old prostitute with no teeth gives me a smile, a wink and a "Hello," I give the cabby a nudge and a over-the-top sarcastic "Asah" and he breaks out laughing. This word is incredibly multi-purpose and kind of helps me feel like I'm in the club and it always makes people smile when I use it.

Another favorite of mine is the word "mee-chin." It is translated to mean "crazy," but it has a different connotation in Korea. Instead of meaning wacky or zany, this crazy is more the kind of crazy that sends people to insane assylums. When you call someone "mee-chin," you are basically saying that they are insane and you think they need medical help. Children find it quite offensive and I find it quite useful. Kids who are a little out of control will usually sort themselves out once they are called meechin and humiliated in front of the class. To be fair, I have been called meechin once or twice in class - so the word is not entirely taboo. And since it is the equivalent of crazy and I am teaching English, I feel they should know that sometimes that word is an acceptable way to describe how someone is acting. And occassionally, I am expressing a genuine emotion that I think a student belongs in an insane assylum.

My students are not allowed to speak Korean in the classroom, but sometimes I will pull a word or two out just to get a point across or wake them up. "Shoo-Ray-Gee" is a fun one to use. It means "trash" and I have found a few different ways to use it. If I give a writing assignment and somebody hands in an offensively short collection of chicken scratches, I will tell them that it is "shoo-ray-gee." I usually don't need to say much more. They understand that they need to put a little more effort in and I think they probably agree with me most of the time. Another way I like to use it is when there is a bunch of Korean being spoken in my class. I will say, "There is no Korean in this class. The next person that speaks Korean, I will cut off their toungue (I make a motion of scissors cutting off my own toungue) and your tounge will go into the shoo-ray-gee!" This always brings out a chuckle and now, sometimes when a student is using Korean the other students will say, "Teacher! His toungue in the shoo-ray-gee." It's silly and they know I am kidding, but it does its job and halts use of Korean. I threaten to put cell phones in the shoo-ray-gee, I threaten to put Nintendo DS's in the shoo-ray-gee and occasionally, I even threaten to put kids in the shoo-ray-gee.

I am incredibly incompetent with the Korean language, but after living here for so long I couldn't help but learn a few words and add them to my vocabulary. I think it gives me a little bit of credibility to pull out some of these words and they help me get through interactions with these crazy Asians.

Happy New Year y'all. I'm home in a few short weeks. Asah!

Much love from Seoul

Happy Birthday J-Dog

Well, Christmas is a few short minutes away from moving into December 26th, and I thought it may be time to give a recap of my Holidays.

Christmas Eve brought with it a trip to the Brazilian restaurant in Apgujong (CEIA.) It was delicious as always and everyone was in good spirits. There were only five of us, but we were five jolly people and it was a nice Christmas dinner. The food there is insanely good - different from anything in Kansas and (more importantly) anything in Korea. They bring around a variety of beef, pork, lamb, chicken, potatoes, rolls and pineapple. The meal was exquisite, and despite the fact that our waitress spilled half a bottle of cabernet on my coworker Anita (and subsequently got deported back to China today) everything was perfect. It was a more than satisfactory Christmas Dinner and I was smiling throughout most of it.

We moved from the Brazilian place to a brewery up the road that has the most delicious beer in Korea. The beers are a little on the pricey side, but I believe the cost is warranted. Most beer in this country tastes like piss, but this place does beer the right way and it was nice to have a few good beers on Christmas Eve. Here's a lovely picture from the bar of Ben, Andrew and myself...



Today was a little less eventful. I woke up late and made myself an enormous breakfast, with a bagel, omelet and bacon - all accompanied by a cup of Starbuck's coffee infused with a shot of espresso. As I enjoyed breakfast I found "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" on the Armed Forces Network and felt like a kid again watching a movie where I was rooting for the toys that nobody could love as I ate my brunch.

When brunch was done, I hit the road with my iPod. Christmas is not really Christmas in Korea. All of the shops are open and the streets are full of people. I had the day off work and the sun was shining bright, so I walked around the neighborhood for a couple hours and enjoyed some of the nicest weather I have ever encountered in December 25th.

I ended up back home and decided that if I didn't have "real" friends I would celebrate Christmas with some other friends. I had a couple glasses of Maker's Mark whiskey brought in from Japan and I watched one of my favorite movies of all time - "Rushmore." They were a poor replacement for friends and family, but I gotta say they were some fun amigos to be with. I haven't seen "Rushmore" in about seven years and I had forgotten what a brilliant movie it was and Maker's is always delicious.

I work in about nine hours, so I think I'm about to hit the hay, but I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas.

I am now hanging out in Korea with well less than two months until I leave and I feel like my departure is just around the corner. I can't wait to be with all of you...

Much love from Seoul

Where Are My Friends Tonight?

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It is Christmas and the New Year is creeping up. My friends are all over the globe tonight and I thought I would send this out as a little Christmas greeting. This song has meant a lot to me over the past year and I know a lot of you know that. Other people have claimed it to be their song of the year (a few months after I did) and I thought it would be the proper time to unleash it on the old blog.

Merry Christmas friends, and I will see you all around the bend...

Much love from Seoul

Merry Merry

It is creeping dangerously close to Christmas Eve here in Seoul. In about fifteen minutes the holiday will officially be on. My plans are minimal, but I should be spending the evening in some nice eatery around town with some amount of good friends and some amount of Christmas cheer. A few tidbits from my Korean Christmas:

Santa Clause is coming to town

For the second year in a row I got to play the role of Santa Clause at my school for the kindergarteners. I went in early on Friday and sat on a stage, handing out presents to good boys and girls that didn't really understand the language I was speaking. The kindergarteners are painfully cute and the morning was a blast.




Playing Santa Clause is enjoyable on many different levels. Santa is well-loved character. It not very often you hear things like, "Man, I fucking hate that Santa..." It just doesn't sound right. These kids were elated to see me. After I changed into the outfit I walked through the halls and peeked into classrooms which caused many shrieks of joy and mini-riots. There is something intrinsically great about Santa Clause. I didn't have to say or do anything - just wearing the outfit was enough to bring smiles to everyone's faces.

I heard some of them saying the Korean word for teacher and rolling their eyes when the found out it was just me and not the real Santa, but once they got to the stage, they were all business. I may not look like the real Santa - but there is an off-chance that I am him and they wouldn't want to offend Santa four days before he is scheduled to visit. As you may be able to see from the picture, the costume is way ghetto. I made some public demands for a new beard at the last meeting, but they were not met. I guess if the kids believe it it's okay.

By the end of it, my smile muscles were sore. I took four pictures with each kid and group pictures with each class so I was actually quite worn out by the time I was finished. As I walked through the school to get back to the vacant classroom in the front of the school that I had used as a changing room I was bombarded by last-minute well-wishers who wanted a little more face time and one last hug from Santa. It was a great morning and helped me get into the spirit of the season a little more.

stuff

I wish I believed that the Christmas season is all about the stuff you get, because if that is how I measured my holiday I would already be pleased with Christmas. The family sent over a box with a few goodies in it, but it hasn't arrived yet and won't be here for another week or two, so on Christmas morning I will have no presents to open. To rectify this, I went ahead and bought myself some Christmas presents and I must say, I know myself pretty well - I owe myself a huge thank you note. Here's a run-down:

1. Three new t-shirts from Threadless.com

2. I ticket to see Wilco in Tulsa a week after I return to the States

3. I went to EMart (Korea's answer to Target) and bought $150 worth of Christmas booze, including a bottle of Kahlua, a bottle of Vodka, a bottle of Bailey's, 2 bottles of Loius Jadot Pinot Noir and 16 bottles of Hoegaarden Belgian beer. My liver is not pleased.

4. Here's the big one. I bought a ticket that leaves KC on April 30th and lands in Heathrow London airport 16 hours later and then a return flight from Florence, Italy on June 3rd.

So I've got no family and only a few friends to celebrate Christmas with, but I am not lacking on stuff. Go materialism!

Wishing me a Merry Christmas

Only two students brought me Christmas gifts, but one of them was pretty sweet. A girl from my everyday class brought me six Tootsie Roll pops wrapped together in what she called a "candy flower" and a homemade card. I found it touching and could tell from the numerous eraser marks that she had worked hard to make it perfect.



I thought it was a nice gesture on her part and the Tootsie Roll pops were delicious.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...

Much love from Seoul

A Christmas Together Alone

It's been a little hard to get into the holiday spirit over here. Last year, things in Seoul were still so new that I was excited to experience a new experience and have a totally different Christmas. Turns out, it was pretty lame. This city does not really celebrate Christmas at all. I would compare Christmas in Korea to Arbor Day in the States - everybody gets a day off work but nobody gives a shit about the trees.

To help myself out, I downloaded an album from my own personal Christmas past, "A Christmas Together" by John Denver and the Muppets. This album, on vinyl, filled the Hopkins' family home each and every Christmas when I was a young boy. It took about ten seconds into the first track (a silly rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas") for the music to bring a huge smile to my face. I am guessing that this will be in pretty heavy rotation around my flat for the next few days.

Along with a smile, the music has also brought a rush of old memories of gifts, stockings, visits from Santa, the Christmas celebrated in two separate rooms when my sister was sick, opening a box on Christmas morn that was filled to the brim with my very own Millenium Falcon, one of the worst nights of my life when I returned home drunk only to fall into the middle of the Christmas tree, meat/cheese/cracker/fruit Christmas Eve dinners, visiting Grandma's house and having her tell me when I woke up that I had just missed the sound of Santa on the roof (I was absolutely convinced he would not be able to find us if we weren't at home - my dad even wrote a note and left on the table to make sure he knew we were in Iowa,) the smell of a house when it is filled with a mixture of Christmas tree, a burning fire in the fireplace and joy, watching Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph on tv, filling the church with the lone sound of my trumpet playing a perfect opening line of "Joy to the World," the first Christmas in our new house when we forgot to open the chimney flue and the whole house filled with smoke as the fire detectors went off, socks from my aunt and uncle, chocolate Santas, playing Santa in a first grade play and spending numerous minutes on stage trying to untie my bag so I could place presents by the sleeping children as the crowd grumbled with laughter (got that one on tape,) the Christmas where the magic of Santa was spoiled when the neighbor came home from school crying because (due to some miscommunication in information) Santa Clause was dead, honey-baked ham, Christmas Eves at the Williams' house, snowy country Christmases at my aunt and uncle's farm, the Plaza lights, Candy Cane Lane, Christmas Caroling from door-to-door in grade school, seeing "A Christmas Carol" at the KC Rep and too many more for this space.

I will miss being around friends and family this weekend, but I am glad that I have these memories to keep me warm and jolly. I do have friends to spend the time with as well, who are in the same boat as me and I am sure we will make do.

I hope the yule log is keeping y'all warm.
Big ups to my boys John Denver and Kermit the Frog. That Lloyd Christmas is full of shit, John Denver is awesome. Download this now...



Happy Holidays and Much love from Seoul

A Good Day

"I got to say it was a good day...I didn't even have to use my AK" - poet laureate Ice Cube

The day began on the subway with a cup of coffee in one hand and an American Time magazine (I mostly get the international edition over here) in the other. I usually loathe the subway on weekends, but with a tasty beverage and some reading material, not to mention a smaller-than-usual crowd to contend with, my venture across the city was an enjoyable one.

I went to Itaewon to buy a new shirt. I couldn't find much that suited my taste at first. Itaewon has a large population of Africans. The style for this group seems to be over-sized FUBU and sports jerseys. All of the stores I went in to were trying to sell me FUBU shirts that went to my knees. I would have bought a shirt, but I didn't have enough money to buy the obligatory gold chains to go with. I ended up in a Columbia store where they had two shirts that fit me, so I bought one of those instead. All I'm saying, is don't be shocked if I am dressed like an Afican pimp when I return to the States.

As the sun set over the Han river, some coworkers and myself headed to an Indian restaurant called Ganga to meet up with the entire crew from work for a Christmas get-together. We had a delicious dinner of nan, curries, salad, samosas (delicious little "stuffed Indian buns,") tandoori chicken, prawns, red wine and Newcastle Brown Ale. The meal was great and the company better. The dinner also featured our Secret Santa gift exchange. My coworker Laurie had me and he bought me a Korean Cookbook (in English) so I can hopefully try to recreate some Korean delights at home.

After dinner, I was invited to a house party with a few friends. It was at a cool little apartment in an area called Haebongchong - an area with lots of foreigners. I enjoy parties, and I would say that generally my favorite genre of party is the house party, but there are always some concerns when you are going to a house party full of people you don't know. Turns out, the cat throwing the party was a real laid-back guy with some great friends. It was a small apartment with a DJ in one corner, Christmas decorations on every wall, lots of Santa hats and a sweet rooftop terrace overlooking the Namsan Tower (aka - Seoul Tower.) I had some great conversations with people from all over the world - Americans, Koreans, Newfoundlandians, Scots, Irish, Kiwis - and the surprising thing is I really liked pretty much everybody I met. It was a stellar party and I hope I get invited back for another. I can't imagine very many scenarios in the States where I would end up at a party with such a diverse group of people and these kind opportunities to talk to people from all over the globe is one of my favorite things about this city.

I ended up stumbling out of the party at some point and taking to the alleys with my iPod and my camera. I wandered aimlessly and took pictures of a very serene Seoul as Clap Your Hands Say Yeah screamed in my ears. I took pictures of kimchi pots, street signs and this one of myself in a motorcycle mirror:



With only a handful of weekends left in Korea, it is nice to have great Saturdays like this, full of memories to take with me. I have had somewhat of a love-hate relationship with Seoul ever since I got here, but right now we are all love and part of me knows it will be hard to say goodbye.

Much love from Seoul

7 Words You Can't Say in Korea

I have been in Korea for about fifteen months. I mainly hang around with kids and spend the majority of my time explaining what English words mean. I have encountered a bunch of words/phrases that don't translate very well and I thought I might share them with you. Some of these I feel like need some explanation, but some of them are evident why they are hard to explain to children that don't speak English:

7. Sea of Japan
(This doesn't exist in Korea. I have shown my older kids atlases with the Sea of Japan and they don't understand. Historically, Japan is evil and they refer to this body of water as the East Sea and seeing it refered to as the Sea of Japan blows young minds. When I say that everyone in America would refer to it as the Sea of Japan I am met with mouths agape and utter amazement at how stupid we are for thinking that Japan owns that Sea. Fucking Japs.)

6. Puebloan
If you can get American students to pronounce this word I am proud of you. To get Korean kids to pronounce it is amazing. If you can explain that they are an indigenous people of the American Southwest and you can make Korean kids understand you - you are brilliant...

5. motherfucker
I was asked about this word after a student had watched 'Die Hard 1' on TV ("Yipee-Kiyaiyeah muthafucka!")the previous weekend. I didn't even know where to begin with this word. I just said it is a bad thing to call someone and if he ever said it again I would kick him out of class.

4. birth control
I tried my hardest to explain this one - but I found that it just lead to the hardest word to explain to young children ever (see number one.)

3. Catholicism
Jesus is awesome. God is Awesome. But all religions that are not Catholicism suck. This word popped up in a lesson with the word Christianity - and it was a lesson how the the Spanish conquistadors killed thousand of native Americans in the 16th century all in the name of 'Catholicism.' They did it to save them from going to hell - they used guns to either kill them or enslave them. WWJD?

2. yard
This word has popped up a few times. In a city with 728 million people, there are not many yards. Just the concept of having some grass in front of a house baffles these young minds and as many pictures as I draw, the idea never gets across.

1. abortion
I don't feel like this word needs much explanation as to why it is uncomfortable to explain to kids that don't speak my language. But seriously, who includes this word in ESL books for 6th graders?

I leave in a few short weeks, so these words and concepts have become much funnier to me instead of frustating.

All I want to say, is that if that Catholic Puebloan has another motherfucking abortion in her front yard I'm going to throw her birth control in the Sea of Japan. It just makes sense. Pretty sure that if any of my students have access to this blog, their minds just exploded..

Much love from Seoul

Paparazzo

I woke up at the crack of dawn yesterday (well, more like 8:00, but that's pretty early for me) so I could help a friend create some pictures. I have become friends with a cat named Andrew Morgan over here. We have numerous mutual friends and are both proud Jayhawks and both hapen to be living in the same area of Seoul, South Korea, so it makes sense that we have started hanging out. He makes some stellar music (there's a link to his blog on the right side of my page and you can check out http://www.myspace.com/morganandrew to hear his last album) and is preparing to put out a new album soon. The album just finished the mastering phase so he is now in need of some press photos.

We started on his roof, moved to the elevator in his building, walked through the woods behind his apartment, walked around his neighborhood and then ended up at an annex of the Seoul Museum of Art.

The roof was a good place to start. The floor is a weird bright green and there are spectacular views of the surrounding city and mountains. We sat around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and tried to take some pictures that recreated a natural Saturday morning rooftop excursion.





On our way from the roof to the woods we got into the elevator in his building. The elevator had this big mirror and the lighting in the elevator was kind of eerie. We started messing around and ended up taking a whole series of pictures in the elevator. We went from the fifth floor, to the basement, back to the fifth floor, back to the... well you get the idea. We had to pause once when a woman got on the elevator with us. Now I've got some weird looks in Korea, but the look on the girl's face when she saw us taking pictures on a never-ending, yo-yo elevator ride was one of the weirdest.





Next we headed to the woods behind his apartment for some Nick Drake shots. The weather was absolutely perfect. We were taking pictures during four of the five hours that the sun was out all weekend. The trails through the woods are very un-Seoul. It is a quiet and peaceful little corner of this busy city where there are actually trees, leaves and nature. These were fun to take.





We walked to the museum next, taking the long way there, zig-zagging through alleys and seeing lively Saturday morning Korean neighborhoods. We found a couple opportunities to take pictures that were uniquely Korean.



Finally, we ended the morning at the art gallery. I love this art gallery and wanted to take pictures here. We were told right away that we could not take pictures inside the gallery so we had to do a bunch on the sly. It was kind of fun trying to take pictures without the 60-year-old woman who was reading the bible in the hallway catching us.






A goal I had when I came to Korea was to improve my photography skills. I love to take pictures and I have had a fun time honing my skills. It was a blast to have a willing subject and a reason to take pictures for a whole morning. I was talking with another friend last night about the photo chances I will have traveling through Europe next spring and I am glad that I should be capable of capturing some of them.

I've got some good times ahead. Big darts tournament put on by the English chaps next weekend, Christmas dinner party with work the weekend after that and then it is Christmas. All is well in Seoul as time keeps pushing along.

Much love from Seoul

I'm Not There

Here's another little article I put together for my buddy's zine. I have been digging the hell out of this album and if you are looking for some new tunes buy this now...

There are two genres of music that rarely produce anything worth my time or money: soundtracks and tribute albums. Clearly there are some exceptions to this rule, but in general I allow most to pass me by.

This past month, a soundtrack surfaced for the movie “I’m Not There” that doubles as a tribute to one of the most revered story-tellers of our time, Bob Dylan. Even though it is full of big names, I was still skeptical that the album would disappoint. Quite often, albums like this end up being an exercise in futility with artists giving half-assed individual efforts that when placed within the context of the other half-assed efforts make for a painful compilation. This album has two-things going for it: incredible source material and whole-hearted attempts at honoring a genius.


It is no secret that Bob Dylan is a master of creating stories and characters that have a universal and timeless appeal. People have been covering him for decades for good reason – he writes better songs then them. Dylan’s writing is full of beautiful imagery and delicious metaphor.

The lineup is impressive on many levels. The artists hail from all different eras and styles - Jeff Tweedy, Cat Power, Roger McGuinn, Mason Jennings, Yo La Tengo, Willie Nelson, Sufjan Stevens, The Black Keys, Los Lobos, Stephen Malkmus, Sonic Youth and Glen Hansard all put their own spin on Dylan classics. For the most part, the homages stay true to the originals, but each song reflects the artist’s perception of the song.

“Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” is a song that has been covered by artists ranging from Guns and Roses all the way to Jerry Garcia. To be honest, I find both of the aforementioned versions to be rubbish. On this album, however, Antony and the Johnsons create a sound that bubbles with beauty. With simple piano and perfect phrasing, the song is given a new life and shows the chart the reverence it deserves.

With the help of Calexico, My Morning Jacket’s Jimmy James does a heartfelt rendition of “Going to Acapulco.” I am not too familiar with MMJ’s catalog, but James’s voice is haunting and suits the song well. Some well-placed horns in the background accompany the band as they paint a Dylan masterpiece.

There are a few misses on the album. I find Eddie Vedder’s “All Along the Watchtower” to be boring and there is a section of Willie’ Nelson’s “Senor” where an almost comical voice sings in Spanish, but all in all, this album soars.

Just like Dylan, this album will stand the test of time. A celebration of the man, the myth and the legend that is Bob Dylan could have easily gone awry in less capable hands, but these artists gave Rock and Roll’s patriarch a tribute that is as quality as the man himself.

Much love from Seoul