It's been a while since I have written. Not a whole lot has been going on in Korea. I haven't had a proper break since mid-February and things are getting a little monotonous in my day-to-day Korean adventures. I am eagerly anticipating a nice, relaxing five-day break in two weeks and the trip to Japan that will occur during that break. I really need some time to recharge the ol' batteries - and Mt. Fuji with a bevy of good bands should do the trick.
Now that I've been here for over ten months, some of the small cultural things have really started to piss me off. Since I don't have any exciting anecdotes to share, I thought I would make a list of things Asians do that pisses me off. Get comfortable, this could take awhile:
1. Asians Can't Walk or Drive
The driving thing is a horrible stereotype that is painfully true. I have had many inebriated rides home from the bars where I genuinely felt that I would be safer if I was driving. Clearly, there are no driver's ed. classes over here. Drivers are erratic and out of control. The roads have an "every-man-for-himself" feel to them. Cars and motorcycles zigzag all over the road. Accidents are commonplace, however I have never seen a car pulled over by a police officer for a traffic violation.
So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the sidewalks are very similar to the roads. People do not walk in a straight line - nor do they respect other people's paths. The Asians are erratic and out-of-control walkers. It baffles the mind to watch two grown women walking towards each other run into each other. You would think that after fifty or more years on this planet they would have learned how to walk down a sidewalk without colliding with others. To make matters worse, oftentimes motorcyclists take to the sidewalk to go around the congested city streets.
2. People Stare at Me
I understand a young child being curious when he/she sees a foreigner, but adults will directly stare at me. At first I found it kind of funny, but now it's just annoying. My least favorite brand of stare: when I am going up or down an escalator and a Korean is going up or down the other way and they stare at me until we meet and then they rubberneck me as I continue down or up. Sometimes I will intently stare back. Sometimes I will try to ignore their stares. Sometimes I smile. But I am pretty sick of all the stares.
3. Littering
My co-workers and I have a running joke going about the trash situation in this country. At first when you arrive, you think there are no trash cans. This is true. You almost never encounter a trash bin to place your trash in. For this reason, people put their trash pretty much wherever they want. There are little trash piles in every alley and quite often, they reek. Imagine vegetables and meat carcasses rotting in the hot sun for a few days, multiply that smell by a thousand and you have an idea what my neighborhood smells like.
So our joke goes something like this. We are walking down the street and we have an empty water bottle, Starbuck's cup or beer bottle in our hands. We say, "I don't see a trash can. Where can I put this," then we say, "Oh, there's one!" and drop our trash right there. I realize I am only adding to the problem, but I think it's funny.
The weirdest part of this scenario is how the trash always seems to disappear. Trash never sits for more than a few days - no matter how out of the way it is placed.
The one place people put trash where it does not disappear is in the hallways of my apartment building. People will have trash that smell like rotting fish carcasses (probably because they are full of rotting fish carcasses) and decide to put it in the hallway so their apartment doesn't smell. This leads to some atrocious smells in the halls of my building. Sometimes the smell can be unbearable.
4. Speaking Korean
I don't understand Korean and that's all these fuckers speak. With all the damn English schools in this country you would think somebody would be able to communicate with me.
5. Men Wearing Pink
Being comfortable enough with your sexuality to wear pink is a good thing. But 9 out of 10 guys wear pink everyday in this country. Clearly, this is a minor complaint, but while I'm complaining I thought I'd go ahead and put it out there.
6. Adorning every neighborhood with the same stores and apartment buildings
Every time I stop at a new subway stop I am excited by the possibility of encountering new stores or products when I reach street-level. Alas, I live in Korea so that never happens. I think there may even be a law to regulate the placement of certain establishments. Literally, every street in Korea has: a McDonald's, 2 Starbucks, 2 Baskin Robbins, 2 Dunkin' Donuts, a KFC, an Outback, a Pizza Hut, a Domino's, 37 noraebongs (karaoke,) one liquor store that sells nothing you want, 6 Korean restaurants that serve the exact same menu, 6 Korean barbecues that serve similar fare, a police station, 5 English academies and a handful of convenience stores that all sell the same items. If variety is the spice of life, this country needs to get a spice rack.
The skyline in Seoul is littered with apartment buildings that all look the same. They are all the same dull brown color. The only difference between them is the number on the side. They all have a triple digit number on the side so you can tell them apart from all of the other apartments that look exactly the same.
7. Owning Dogs
If your dog could see the dogs over here, he/she would be embarrassed for the whole species. It is rare you see a dog larger than a handbag - and many dogs travel in girls' handbags. Dogs over here wear outfits, boots, hats and special collars. Lots of dogs also get their hair done. When I come across a white dog that has been dyed pink or neon green I just shake my head. People treat their dogs like mere possessions and take them out like an accessory. I feel like most of these dogs, if given the choice, would rather be turned into dog soup than live this existence.
(little sidenote: I bought a Spin magazine today and they had the funniest thing featured. Go to
www.feeladdicted.com and then click on the "products" category. They are featuring a blow-up doll for dogs. Check it.)
8. Drinking Shitty Beer
It's all they do over here. And when I say shitty - I mean shitty. I would die for some Bud Light or a PBR (even had a dream about drinking PBR last night - that's how desperate I am.) They sell the same few beers at every convenience store. You can find Budweiser sometimes, but that's a premium beer and you gotta pay premium prices if you want to drink the American dream in Korea. We have stumbled across a few decent breweries, but they are far away and pretty pricey.
9. Wearing Mullets
Korean men and boys love to rock the mullet. I am not as much annoyed by the fact that they have mullets, but I am upset that I cannot pull it off. I would love to walk the streets of Seoul in a mullet, but I think I may look like something that just left the trailer park and wound up in Asia.
10. Having Zits
Koreans of all ages are covered in zits. Buy some Oxy-Pads and finish puberty people.
Okay, after the last one I realize I am just starting to get mean. It felt pretty good to bitch for a little while though. Thanks for listening.
I know this may make it seem like I am really negative right now, but I am definitely not. I am comfortable in this country, generally happy and simply coming to terms with some of the annoying things the Koreans do around me. Just keeping it real y'all...
Much Love from Seoul
