The Reason for the Season

(The following story did not actually happen. Well it did happen, but not exactly the way it is told. I have taken a few liberties, but you don't live in Seoul so you may never know the full truth. (okay, you'll probably be able to figure out what happened.)

I would also like to say that there are no alterations to these pictures. Although it may look like photoshop was used, a Jesus mask from the back of an AdBusters magazine was utilized to create this story.

Also, if you are offended by this story, remember that Jesus was a pretty cool cat. He did turn water into wine for a whole field of partiers, so I think he was probably a pretty laid back dude.)

Merry Christmas to all! We are only a few short hours away from the end of Christmas day here in Korea, but it was quite an eventful holiday. I have to work tomorrow, which shows how important the holiday is here in Korea - not very. The atmosphere today was lovely and moderately cheery, but not the day it is in America. Because of the lackidaisical attitude toward Jesus's birth in this country, he usually chooses to come to Seoul to kick it on his birthday - you know, keep a low profile. This year was no different, and fortunately for my friends and I, he decided to hang with us for the day.

Thanks to a Christmas package from my parents, I have a fully stocked array of KC barbecue rubs in my cupboard. I let Jesus pick his favorite spice to put on some beer-can chickens and he chose Arthur Bryant's poultry and fish rub - a good choice. I guess you should expect the guy whose dad created the universe to have a pretty sophisticated palate.

I seasoned up the birds and Jesus told some stories about the first century (or as he calls it "the good old days") and we all threw back a few cold ones. I asked Jesus what he usually does for Christmas and things got a little awkward. Being a jew, he celebrates Channukah (and coincidentally is a huge fan of the Adam Sandler song "The Channukah Song." He loves the line about OJ Simpson not being a jew.) He didn't realize our party was B.Y.O.M. (bring your own menorah) and was dissapointed to find that all we had was incense - no candles. We played with a little dradle he brought and watched the Borat movie (which he found hilarious - "an interesting critique in the form of parody on modern society and the xenophobia that exists within American culture." he said) and things turned out alright.

I think it's a little ironic that the first year of my life that I don't attend church on Christmas, Jesus visits my place and shares Christmas dinner with us. And truth be told, he was a pretty good guest. Jesus was a big fan of the beer-can chickens and enjoyed Korean beer. He even told me I was a better cook than his wife, Mary Magdalen, which I took as a high compliment. He said his favorite dish is a shrimp alfredo dish the chef from the Titanic cooks for him up in heaven, but he's had that on his birthday every year for almost the last hundred years or so, so he was glad to switch things up.

All in all it was a pretty good Christmas Day. I missed seeing friends and family in KC, especially all of the Wicinski family activities around Beau's house, but if you gotta spend a Christmas away from KC it may as well be with the company of Arthur Bryant and Jesus Christ.

Love and Merry Christmas from Seoul

Are You Ready for the Country?

For the first time since I arrived in Seoul, I left the metropolitan area and headed south to the country. I went to a small town called Onyang where Atwood lives. It took about an hour and a half in a train to get there, but I felt like I was much further than just an hour away.

I didn't arrive until late Friday evening. We had a few drinks at one of his buddy's places and then headed to the WA Bar, a western bar that's real big over here. There happened to be a few Russians in the bar that decided to share some of their political views with us. The first opinion I heard was (in a Russian, James Bond villian-esque voice),"America, Fuck You!" Interesting point. There are 300 million of us, but I am totally okay with him grouping all Americans into one. He then continued by stating "Putin victorious," or something to that effect. Wow. It was a good conversation.

This first encounter was a good introduction to the town. I met a lot of cool people and had a stellar time, but there is a little different feel to the town. I felt like the locals were a little less open to outsiders. Walking around the city we got a lot of looks. In the train station there was an elderly man that looked me up and down, head to toe and then began talking to himself in Korean. I can only imagine what he was saying to himself (probably, "America, Fuck You!")

Saturday brought real nice December weather. It was a bit chilly, but good weather to go hiking through the hills/mountains that are Atwood's backyard. We explored the mountains and came across a bunch of Korean burial mounds. Some are marked with grave stones, but many are just large mounds that are well-groomed and placed in a small patch of the forest with no trees. After living in the great Northwoods of America for the last 5 summers, I feel at home when I'm surrounded by trees. Unfortunately, trees are about as easy to find in Seoul as condoms that fit an American man. It was really nice to be able to be away from the city and scamper through the woods for a while.

Saturday night, we went out for a grand Korean barbecue dinner. It was one of the best barbecue restaurants I have been to in Korea and a great way to start the evening. As we were finishing our first bottle of Soju, we noticed it had begun to snow. Big, fluffy, Christmas-y snowflakes. It was a fun night. We headed to the WA Bar after dinner and many people were outside standing in the snow, watching it come down. As the night went on there were many forays outdoors to throw snowballs or build snow-bunnies. There is some intrinsic cheer that comes with snow. It is calming and brings a smile to everyone's face. It was a welcome touch to my weekend to get to enjoy a snowfall during my excursion to the country.

When all was said and done, it was a pretty perfect weekend. I had a great time, didn't spend too much money and got to meet some new people that speak English.

When I got back to the train station in Seoul though, I had a weird feeling that I was home. I was back to where I live - my home. This was kind of a earth-shattering thought to have because until today I hadn't really thought of Seoul as my home, but more a place where there's an apartment that I can sleep in for free and a school that will pay me to speak my native tongue. But I have become accustomed to this city and its people and it was a good feeling to have to be home.

Love from Seoul

Korean Doppelgangers

When I first arrived in this country, I must admit that felt as if I was in a sea of faces that were all the same. This city (and its surrounding area) has close to 23 million poeple. However, after a few months in Korea I have started to recognize certain people around town that I see on a regular basis and I constantly think I see other people I know, too.

As I walk through the city, I am sometimes forced to do double-takes because I see someone and I am sure I know them. Now, obviously being in my position it is very unlikely I do know the person I have just encountered on a street in Asia, but my natural, split-second reaction is "What is he/she doing here?" Usually something about their visage or the clothes they are wearing puts a certain thought in my head and for just an instant I think I see a friend. A few days ago I was 100% positive that I saw Larry Frarey in a subway station (true story, and since he's a world traveler it wouldn't be that unbelievable), but it wasn't him. I was also pretty sure I saw my grandma the other day, but it was an Asian instead. It doesn't take long to figure out that I was mistaken, but for a second I feel like I had a visitor from home.

Occasionally I will see somebody and it will make me laugh. I will see a forty-year-old Korean Matt Gold on the subway or a nine-year-old Korean Brett Lentz on the street corner. I will see a twenty-six-year old Korean Bob Hamelin or a fourteen-year-old Korean Ricki Lake. People I recognize are everywhere, only I don't really know them. It's kind of fun to go out exploring and see who I'll meet each day.

This might sound kind of weird, and to be honest, as I read back through this, it doesn't sound all that believable, but the experiences I have had have been shared with my co-workers. They will also see people from their "other life" here in Korea and be positive it is them if only for a few short seconds. There is something about being away from home and so far removed from all of your friends that makes you wish to see them in the strangest of places. I think as I am separated from people I have a vaguer sense of their physical traits and mannerisms, so an Asian substitute can momentarily convince me it is truly them; just somebody that resembles them is enough for me.

So if I see your Korean doppelganger tomorrow, I will make sure to give you a nod and say hello.

Love from Seoul

In Insadong

I went Christmas shopping in Insadong all day today. It was quite tiring. Trying to shop for sisters is hard enough - I always feel a little out of my element in botiques that cater to high-school and college-aged girls - but shopping for them in Korea made me yearn for a Tiffany Town, Westport or Town Center. I did get the job done and took a few pictures while I was at it. I bought a Nikon Coolpix S8 camera yesterday and took out for a spin today.

The first photo I took is of a sculpture that was dedicated the week I arrived in Seoul. It was done by a Swedish-born, American artist. The sculpture marks the beginning of a long river that was one of the dirtiest and most polluted areas in Seoul (it used to be underground) but has been renovated and cleaned up. On a sunny day the riverwalk will be packed with people taking photos and enjoying the fountains that are part of the now clean river. This is one of the first areas in Seoul I discovered and it's one of my favorites. There are a lot of art galleries and restaurants around the river and it's a good place to spend an afternoon.

The second photo is a close-up of some of the ornate decorations on a palace. Insadong has many different palaces, but I was able to walk up close to this one and take a close-up photo of the ceiling.

The third is of a statue I found. The plaque in front of this statue was all in Korean and since I don't know Korean I have no clue who he was, but I liked the statue.

Today was my first attempt at using my camera. I'm still learning how to use it and figuring out all the features it has. I should be able to take some good pictures of the night life here and other interesting things as they happen. I'm excited to be able to share some images with everyone and if I can figure out how to post movies, things could get silly.

Love from Seoul

dong-dong-ju

Last night I had an authentically Korean evening. Along with four of my fellow teachers, I went to a barbecue restaurant down the street and ate galbi. Galbi is some of the best meat you can buy. It is pork rib meat that comes marinated. In addition to having good meat, this place has the best kimchi in Korea. Every place serves kimchi (pickled cabbage - THE dish of Korea) but I usually just push it to the side and eat the main course. This place serves a spicy and flavorful kimchi that hits me just right. The Korean barbecue restaurant experience is something I have come to love. Dinner was absolutely fantastic and proved to be a great start to our evening.

Next, we headed to a place right by our apartment. We have had a running joke that this restaurant sells dog, because it has an outward appearance of being very rustic. It is actually a traditional Korean Hof (bar) where they serve nothing but traditional Korean fare (no dog though.) We were full so we weren't eating, but we were drinking. We tried to order beer and soju, but neither were served at this place. We ordered a traditional drink called dong-dong-ju which is a perfect mix of egg nog and chicken soup. They bring you a pitcher of the alcohol in a vase-looking pitcher and they give you little soup cups to sip out of. When we first walked into the restaurant I saw others drinking dong-dong-ju and I assumed they were sipping soup. It is high in alcohol, and it did the trick. I was pretty much blacked out by the time we left the joint. This place had a real cool vibe. The walls are covered in what might appear to be ornate ancient Asian paintings, but each one is covered from top to bottom with signatures and quotes left by former customers (reminiscent of the Jazz or the Wheel.) It is a cool college hangout that ended up being one of the coolest places I have visited in Seoul. It was really nice being in a place that was so hip and so authentically Korean.

I bought a camera today, so I will be adding pictures to document my stay here as soon as I can. I plan on taking the camera out onto Seoul tomorrow and should have some photos published by tomorrow evening.

Love from Seoul

Short Notes and Anecdotes from Seoul

As I approach my three-month mark here in Korea, I thought I would share some short stories and little observations from my experiences here in Seoul:

one
I went to T.G.I.Fridays with some friends a few weeks ago and felt like I was right back in my element. Dinner was alright and I got kind of drunk. At the end of the meal I headed to the bathroom to use the facilities before we left. A lot of bathrooms around here have weird components to them which make me feel like I am in some foriegn land (imagine that), but this bathroom whisked me back to a bathroom I once knew at the Ward Parkway mall. Everything, including the toilets, reeked of America. I went to wash my hands, but the soap was really watery. I tried to work up a lather on my hands, but it was impossible with a soap so watery. When I felt like I had sufficiently cleansed my hands, I dried them off and then started to walk out of the bathroom. This is when I began to smell a wintery fresh smell coming from my hands. I returned to the sink to realize that I had covered my hands with the complimentary mouthwash and missed the soap altogether, even though it was clearly labeled "SOAP" in English.

two
This week was the second time that a student has accused me of being a Harvard graduate. The kids in my classes equate my knowledge of the English language with all-around intelligence - and I do not tell them that are wrong. There's a crazy contrast between the way I feel inside the walls of my school (intelligent, in control, able to talk to everyone around me) and the way I feel on the streets of Seoul (dumb, not in control, unable to talk to anyone around me.)

three
I have been able to debunk a lot of Asian stereotypes in my time here, but there is one that has actually been strengthened in my mind: Asians are fucking terrible drivers.

four
The word "salsa" is incredibly similar to a word in Korean that means diarrhea. So if you ever find yourself in a Korean-Mexican restaurant, be very careful when ordering chips and salsa. Maybe just ask for the CCQ dip.

five
I know I've already devoted a whole writing to the weird TV you find over here, but I have found a channel that is almost more baffling than anything else I've seen. It's a video game channel where games like Doom and Warcraft are played out on your screen. They will sometimes cut to the players playing the games on a stage in an auditorium full of nerds. The video games are accompanied by excitable announcers who explain everything that is happening. It provides all the excitement of playing video games without all of the pesky finger exercise involved. It's too bad there's no weed over here because it seems like it would be the ultimate way to play video games stoned - both hands stay free to munch on Cheetos.

I get paid tomorrow and plan on buying a digital camera. Hopefully, the next time I post it will be accompanied by some photos from around town.

Love from Seoul