The Reason for the Season

(The following story did not actually happen. Well it did happen, but not exactly the way it is told. I have taken a few liberties, but you don't live in Seoul so you may never know the full truth. (okay, you'll probably be able to figure out what happened.)

I would also like to say that there are no alterations to these pictures. Although it may look like photoshop was used, a Jesus mask from the back of an AdBusters magazine was utilized to create this story.

Also, if you are offended by this story, remember that Jesus was a pretty cool cat. He did turn water into wine for a whole field of partiers, so I think he was probably a pretty laid back dude.)

Merry Christmas to all! We are only a few short hours away from the end of Christmas day here in Korea, but it was quite an eventful holiday. I have to work tomorrow, which shows how important the holiday is here in Korea - not very. The atmosphere today was lovely and moderately cheery, but not the day it is in America. Because of the lackidaisical attitude toward Jesus's birth in this country, he usually chooses to come to Seoul to kick it on his birthday - you know, keep a low profile. This year was no different, and fortunately for my friends and I, he decided to hang with us for the day.

Thanks to a Christmas package from my parents, I have a fully stocked array of KC barbecue rubs in my cupboard. I let Jesus pick his favorite spice to put on some beer-can chickens and he chose Arthur Bryant's poultry and fish rub - a good choice. I guess you should expect the guy whose dad created the universe to have a pretty sophisticated palate.

I seasoned up the birds and Jesus told some stories about the first century (or as he calls it "the good old days") and we all threw back a few cold ones. I asked Jesus what he usually does for Christmas and things got a little awkward. Being a jew, he celebrates Channukah (and coincidentally is a huge fan of the Adam Sandler song "The Channukah Song." He loves the line about OJ Simpson not being a jew.) He didn't realize our party was B.Y.O.M. (bring your own menorah) and was dissapointed to find that all we had was incense - no candles. We played with a little dradle he brought and watched the Borat movie (which he found hilarious - "an interesting critique in the form of parody on modern society and the xenophobia that exists within American culture." he said) and things turned out alright.

I think it's a little ironic that the first year of my life that I don't attend church on Christmas, Jesus visits my place and shares Christmas dinner with us. And truth be told, he was a pretty good guest. Jesus was a big fan of the beer-can chickens and enjoyed Korean beer. He even told me I was a better cook than his wife, Mary Magdalen, which I took as a high compliment. He said his favorite dish is a shrimp alfredo dish the chef from the Titanic cooks for him up in heaven, but he's had that on his birthday every year for almost the last hundred years or so, so he was glad to switch things up.

All in all it was a pretty good Christmas Day. I missed seeing friends and family in KC, especially all of the Wicinski family activities around Beau's house, but if you gotta spend a Christmas away from KC it may as well be with the company of Arthur Bryant and Jesus Christ.

Love and Merry Christmas from Seoul