words

I am employed and valued in this country because of my ability to speak the English language. English is very important to the people of South Korea. They see it as a way to be accepted into the global community of both business and media, thus almost everyone studies it. Obviously, Korean is the main language of Korea, but English is everywhere. Everywhere!



This happens to be great for me since I really don't speak much Korean (and read even less.) The Starbuck's menu is fully in English, the subway system is all labeled in Korean and I can always find someone on the street who speaks enough English to help me when I am having problems. This definitely helped ease me into this crazy land when I found myself quite culture shocked when I first arrived. Although the majority of the time it is helpful, I also find that a lot of the time it is there for mere decoration. The status and outward appearance of an establishment becomes much more sophisticated and hip if its name is written in English - regardless of what those words are. A lot of places will have a motto written in English, using so many long and loaded words that the saying almost loses all meaning to a native English speaker. Please allow me to give a few examples.





This is a clothing store in Itaewon. I think this is one of the best names for a store ever. I can't imagine a better way to get you point across and tell the consumer the benefit of using your product in such a direct manner. If you want to look fucking lovely, I suggest you make a trip to Seoul and I can show you a store that can help you out. Another good name is "Pink Fanny." I think they are also a clothing store. Those of you international and astute readers will remember that "fanny" is British slang for vagina. My British friends get a big kick out of that place.

TN is a brewery that I drink at as often as I can. TN stands for "Taste Noble," which really means nothing but it does have the word "taste" in it which means something and "noble" which makes me think my taste buds will be in the company of royalty as I drink their beer. Above is TN's motto, which adorns the elevator that takes you up to their pub. I am still waiting for a brewer with inferior ales to come rushing through the door and the brewers and waiters at TN will pull out swords and fight to ensure that they do not surrender their satisfication to the world. I still have no idea what they mean when they call themselves "the name of the new challenge." The place makes the best beer in Korea though, and for now I will attest to the fact that they have at least never surrendered their satisfaction to me.

I want to be clear here that I could literally walk around Seoul and take pictures all day finding ridiculous English phrases and names around every corner. Like I said, English is everywhere and obviously, not all English teachers are as skilled as me.

One place where I find a special amount of irony in products covered in silly English is at my school. Our children are supposed to be learning all about the English language and how to use it to communicate correctly. The clothing that is worn and the school supplies that are bought contain English that is so atrocious I sometimes wonder if I am getting anything across to them. Again, I could take pictures for weeks and still not fully catalog all of the ridiculous English contained within the walls of my school, but here is one fine example of over-usage of the English language by someone who doesn't fully have command of it:

This box was given to me on Valentine's Day by one of my students. It was full of little candies and it was very sweet of her to have brought it. However, I am still pondering the exact message she was trying to get across to me. I think the overall vibe of the words is easy to decipher, but the overall meaning gets lost on me. I asked one of my Korean co-teachers what it meant and she launched into an explanation of the word "beacon" and how lighthouses are used to help ships avoid the coast. I politely explained that being a native speaker, I actually understood every word contained within the phrase, but was wondering if she could explain what the words meant as a whole. She intently stared at them for a few moments and then said she had no idea. She has since come to me asking me what certain English phrases mean, and I have yet to be able to understand a single one.

Pencil cases and notebooks are full of these nonsensical phrases. "Happy friend that hugs the love at the other friend time happyness gathering of intimacy." "My thoughts and donuts are all on paper of genius computer." "dogs cute fuzzy smile on cat hair belly love."

I guess I would compare the English usage in this country to the old "Yo Quiero Taco Bell" dog in the States. Everybody knows enough spanish to understand that in America; everybody has at least some basic phrases under their belt ("Yo quiero una cervesa y dos tacos por favor," "Donde esta la mota?") To a native spanish speaker I am sure that the phrase may not hold that much meaning, but to those of us with the late night munchies, the little chihuahua that could speak Spanish sent us straight on a course to Taco Bell. Maybe the companies hope that their usage of English phrases over here will have the same effect on their local market.

I am very appreciative of the fact that English is so prevalent over here. It's the reason I am able to be here and it makes my life much easier - and quite frankly provides me with non-stop laughs.

Hope all is well with all of y'all

Love from Seoul