I'm a Murderer
I did it again. I killed a student. I came to Korea with the best of intentions, but I can't help my cultural ignorance and I've killed a minimum of three students. Allow me to explain.
The names of the dead in Korea have historically been written in the color red. I, being a teacher who does large amounts of grading during classes, generally carry a red pen with me at all times. So if I find myself in a grading situation where students are lining up at my desk or tossing their workbooks on my desk, I sometimes get confused about whose work is whose, and I will non-chalantly write the student's name on their work with my red pen. This simple act has been met with screams ( I am not exaggerating here, I have made children scream) when the student sees I have written down their name in red.
At first I thought it was a joke - a student was trying to play a prank on me, but it became very evident to me that this was no laughing matter. The first incident involved a student who I have had since my first days here. She is a sweet and intelligent and very involved during lessons in a class full of jokesters. We get a lot of work done during class because the students are very smart, but we also laugh a lot because it is a class full of big personalities. This student handed in her homework without a name and when I asked whose it was, she raised her hands and said it was hers so I wrote her name on it (in red.) She freaked out. She ripped the paper out of my hand and was visibly uncomfortable. I had placed her name among the names of the dead and really the only thing left for her to do is wait for the Reaper. And why is she going to die? Because her teacher is moron.
There does appear to be a way to fix this problem. The few times I have slipped and committed this faux pas - if the student is willing to spend a few minutes using a pencil or pen to cover the red so the name appears to be written in any color other than red - then the Grim Reaper my not be able to decipher the fact that they are on the list of the dead and they may be safe.
I have realized how much this actually scares the kids, so I go way out of my way not to do it. But if I do slip, I always allow them to fix my blunder. The student will be mentally out of class until I allow them to correct my mistake (by coloring over the red with a pen or pencil) and they feel safe again. I just hope none of these kids really end up dying in some weird mishap like that movie where those students cheated death by not getting on a plane and then the plane crashed and then death came after them with a vengeance - and then the parents will blame me for "murdering" their children and this blog will act as a confession in court.
I make little cultural blunders regularly, but as far as I know, this is the only one that results in death, so I'm really working on not doing it anymore.
Before I sign off, I want to send some congratulations back to America. Not to the Rowe-Borum wedding party, not to the Jayhawks for kicking MU's ass, but to Ted Haggard. This blog has given him a hard time once or twice, but I feel he deserves a hardy congratulations for becoming ungay. He has completed his three-week stint in not-gay rehab and I'm glad to see he is ready to return to the church. It's great to see a man go from the depths of sin - smoking meth with male prostitutes - lift himself out of those depths and return to normal, non-gay society. Now he can finally lead a normal heterosexual life of smoking meth with female prostitues. Way to go Teddy! You are an inspiration for all.
Love from Seoul
The names of the dead in Korea have historically been written in the color red. I, being a teacher who does large amounts of grading during classes, generally carry a red pen with me at all times. So if I find myself in a grading situation where students are lining up at my desk or tossing their workbooks on my desk, I sometimes get confused about whose work is whose, and I will non-chalantly write the student's name on their work with my red pen. This simple act has been met with screams ( I am not exaggerating here, I have made children scream) when the student sees I have written down their name in red.
At first I thought it was a joke - a student was trying to play a prank on me, but it became very evident to me that this was no laughing matter. The first incident involved a student who I have had since my first days here. She is a sweet and intelligent and very involved during lessons in a class full of jokesters. We get a lot of work done during class because the students are very smart, but we also laugh a lot because it is a class full of big personalities. This student handed in her homework without a name and when I asked whose it was, she raised her hands and said it was hers so I wrote her name on it (in red.) She freaked out. She ripped the paper out of my hand and was visibly uncomfortable. I had placed her name among the names of the dead and really the only thing left for her to do is wait for the Reaper. And why is she going to die? Because her teacher is moron.
There does appear to be a way to fix this problem. The few times I have slipped and committed this faux pas - if the student is willing to spend a few minutes using a pencil or pen to cover the red so the name appears to be written in any color other than red - then the Grim Reaper my not be able to decipher the fact that they are on the list of the dead and they may be safe.
I have realized how much this actually scares the kids, so I go way out of my way not to do it. But if I do slip, I always allow them to fix my blunder. The student will be mentally out of class until I allow them to correct my mistake (by coloring over the red with a pen or pencil) and they feel safe again. I just hope none of these kids really end up dying in some weird mishap like that movie where those students cheated death by not getting on a plane and then the plane crashed and then death came after them with a vengeance - and then the parents will blame me for "murdering" their children and this blog will act as a confession in court.
I make little cultural blunders regularly, but as far as I know, this is the only one that results in death, so I'm really working on not doing it anymore.
Before I sign off, I want to send some congratulations back to America. Not to the Rowe-Borum wedding party, not to the Jayhawks for kicking MU's ass, but to Ted Haggard. This blog has given him a hard time once or twice, but I feel he deserves a hardy congratulations for becoming ungay. He has completed his three-week stint in not-gay rehab and I'm glad to see he is ready to return to the church. It's great to see a man go from the depths of sin - smoking meth with male prostitutes - lift himself out of those depths and return to normal, non-gay society. Now he can finally lead a normal heterosexual life of smoking meth with female prostitues. Way to go Teddy! You are an inspiration for all.
Love from Seoul
posted by Kyle at 6:09 PM
2 Comments:
Reading that first paragraph was hilarious.
I can just imagine you with a kid in a class room, he faints, you're holding me, people walk in. They think you killed him, and you can't find the right words.
Man, Korea, way to ruin a color.
Kile,
Thank you for your congratulations, and I understand your skepticism. We all wanted to know why I developed such incongruity in my life. Thankfully, with the tools I gained in Campt Dontbegay, along with the powerful way God has been illuminating his Word and the Holy Spirit has been convicting me and healing me, we now have growing understanding which is giving me some hope for the non-gay future. P.S. that cracks me up about "killing" those kids! LOL!
Love,
TAH
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